Episode 12

First I should mention that I am home now. I feel scarily unattached to this realm at this point. Even my room seems foreign, made unfamiliar by over three months of uninterrupted silence. I also need to bring attention to the fact that my computer has been stored in a safe place, as I lacked any trustworthy means of bringing it with me. Overall, I'm fine with the change, but I do miss my music. And my brand new video card. But such is life.

On my last day at the Holiday Inn Brookline, I was running (in a supreme act of unintelligence) and slipped and fell into a large flower pot. No broken bones resulted, just a very unpleasant-looking (but ultimately painless (honest)) gash. A three-hour hospital ordeal and 22 stitches later everything was back where it's supposed to be. In a mere 7-10 days I'll be back in working order. Until then there's always Ibuprofen. And tea (thanks Stacie).

I'm writing this entry on my dad's office computer, generously donated in my time of need. To satisfy gaming addiction, I found an old install of Quake lying around. To satiate my thirst for music, my dad's 2000+ download collection has a scattered few songs I can find listenable. The creed of the resourceful: "When lacking, improvise." Of course, as long as I have generous people who love me, I'm never really lacking.

I guess that's the one thing I have actually missed about this place. I'm never really helpless here, there's always a few close friends and family who'll come to my aid, and likewise I'd always be there to give them a hand should one be needed. It was a wonderful cycle of reciprocal altruism I left behind. I miss it. At least now I'd like to think I'm perfectly capable of helping myself. But does anybody needs my help anymore?

I do not miss high school. The people were mostly fools and haven't changed since then. I had a select cabal of tried and true allies, but most of the others were hopelessly inert, or just made me feel badly about myself. I'm better off just walking on, and I will, even if I have to live from keyboard to keyboard.

I keep having strange feelings of self-purpose. I feel important, and I don't know why. Yes, I have talents, but what could I physically create with them? I don't know why I'm here (nobody does, until they're dead), but I having that old childlike inkling that I am here for a very important reason. I must say, I enjoy it, even if I can't explain it. I'll probably just wind up as some normal everyday engineer.

That saves the world.