Day 2


Shattered

April 2

It all finally happened today. It all fell apart. I cut zero periods because I didnít have my homework and it wasnít worth being kicked out of the class just for showing up. I went out to lunch and got sick to my stomach by 4th period. I got to see the girl of my dreams dangled once again just out of my reach. We test-ran the Science Olympiad machine and it utterly failed, all because of something in my circuitry. I arrived home at 6:45 PM without my Tess book, restricting me from completing my English project on time.

Iíve never just wanted to run away so much in all of my life. Or at least since 6th grade. Whatís interesting is that after so many failures have finally caught up to me, the only thing I can think of it how many people I let down. Iím probably not going to go to school today, or at least go to 3rd period, to avoid English. Science Olympiad must be done now, and Iíve got more events to prepare for or let more people down. My dad wonít want to help me anymore because I get so mad when he spends the entire time proving how smarter he is and how I do everything wrong and wind up feeling like a dumbass.

So Iím on my own. No matter how many people I try to help, no matter how I reach out, I always end up here, facing all of my problems in perfect solitude, one against the world, and failing time and time again. Iím so tired of trying.

Iíve locked my door shut, taped over the push-lock, and barricaded myself in my room. If my resolve holds Iíll never leave here until I get some answers. Thatís not going to happen, and I have to leave someday, so I guess Iím just setting myself up for another failure. But Iím not in any hurry to look upon the outside world again, or see any of the faces of the friends and family who in all likelihood canít stand the sight of me.

If there are any divine justice in this universe, then it shall make this my final entry, and cut these chronicles short.