Day 2

It all finally happened today. It all fell apart. I cut zero periods because I didn’t have my homework and it wasn’t worth being kicked out of the class just for showing up. I went out to lunch and got sick to my stomach by 4th period. I got to see the girl of my dreams dangled once again just out of my reach. We test-ran the Science Olympiad machine and it utterly failed, all because of something in my circuitry. I arrived home at 6:45 PM without my Tess book, restricting me from completing my English project on time.

I’ve never just wanted to run away so much in all of my life. Or at least since 6th grade. What’s interesting is that after so many failures have finally caught up to me, the only thing I can think of it how many people I let down. I’m probably not going to go to school today, or at least go to 3rd period, to avoid English. Science Olympiad must be done now, and I’ve got more events to prepare for or let more people down. My dad won’t want to help me anymore because I get so mad when he spends the entire time proving how smarter he is and how I do everything wrong and wind up feeling like a dumbass.

So I’m on my own. No matter how many people I try to help, no matter how I reach out, I always end up here, facing all of my problems in perfect solitude, one against the world, and failing time and time again. I’m so tired of trying.

I’ve locked my door shut, taped over the push-lock, and barricaded myself in my room. If my resolve holds I’ll never leave here until I get some answers. That’s not going to happen, and I have to leave someday, so I guess I’m just setting myself up for another failure. But I’m not in any hurry to look upon the outside world again, or see any of the faces of the friends and family who in all likelihood can’t stand the sight of me.

If there are any divine justice in this universe, then it shall make this my final entry, and cut these chronicles short.