Day 7

I’m all alone.

It’s Friday night. April 25th. Prom night. My senior prom night. not really yours, per say. On the plus side I’m going to get the opportunity to very much rock out at the Swift concert. From a fiscal point of view I do stand to gain: 5 bucks for a Tavern stamp, hundreds of dollars from prom paraphernalia. And it’s not every day I get to let out all my frustration at music that seems to tell my stories. I’m going to have a fun night.

But it’s still not the same.

I hear all my friends, complaining. They have to go to prom, wish they could enjoy Swift, blah blah blah, I don’t want to hear it. You all make me sick. You take for granted everything you’ve got and then have the nerve to try to make me feel better about griping about having to go to your senior prom with the girls you love and the friends you’ve made, oh poor you.

So I am a little bitter and I think I have at least some right to be. Although looking back, if you asked the middle school Keith if he thought he’d wind up here, he probably would have said yes. I can only wonder at how I’ve come rather full circle or if anything has changed, if I’ve changed. I have no proof in my hands, only on my horizon.

It’s going to be fun. I have to keep repeating this to myself and not keep my mind on more troubling matters. Selective perception. Not at all your style. It’s hard, I’ve always had trouble keeping my head up when I walk these paths. I slouch.

I can’t keep feeling like this is the only way things are, or have been, or will be. I have led an austere life and to devil with anything that makes me feel otherwise. I still have no regrets. I have done everything perfectly, and can trace no mistakes. Incidence was against me, or perhaps some divine plan had other intentions (oh, how grim). It’s going to be fun, and I’m going to be having more fun than a lot of people at Starmount tonight. Moreover I’m going to be getting out a lot of my unhappy emotions tonight whereas if I had gone, as things stand, then I would only become more aggravated.

I’m not the only one feeling left out. Not everybody can be a winner all the time. My time will come, because I’m not dead yet. I can never die, so long as I’ve still got a purpose here. But I must adjourn, for now my purpose of driving my brother to Tavern early is coming and I still must eat. Good night.

And somewhere all too near, they’ll be dancing