Chaos Theory

"Where am I?" I wonder to myself in the night in my warm room, and despite it another chill wanders its way down my spine.  Everything feels awash in this field of empty space.  My mind runs circles in the newly formed vacuums and seeks answers for questions it never knew.  A mere pair of weeks and all order has surrendered to entropy, all probabilities have triumphed, and I've come more full circle than I ever could have imagined.  In several measures I am no less than reliving last year.  

The absence of the trials brings me sanctuary of worry and strain, but leaves more time for my mind to consider the other sides to my puzzling road.  

The absence of this companionship leaves me the profound sense of freedom and independence.  However, dismissing her has relinquished momentary satisfactions and signals the return of self-doubt.

And the absence of requited affection reminds me that extraordinary changes are named so for good reason.

So many voids makes transposing my thoughts into word and sentence a challenge, as even organizing on the level of internal thought is unbearably difficult.  All is undone and in only a few weeks' time.  Time.  It's such an intangible concept, especially of late when days seems to both fly by at Mach 1 and crawl at a snail's pace.  

Irony springs eternal.  The only familiarity lies in forces I wish I had never known.